14 Nov 11 ♂ Tumblr::send:   (via cxx, seepassyouagain) (via yanaka) (via petapeta) (via bgnori) (via gearmann) (via mitukiii) (via gkojaz) yaruo

“まだ二十七なのに、何もかもが鈍ってしまった。上腕と太腿の筋肉がごっそり落ちて、まるで中年の身体だ。へらへら笑って、電卓を叩いて、嫌いな革靴を履いて、履くたびにそれを磨いて、馬鹿みたいだ。僕の頭は駄目だ。小さい頃から使いすぎて、もう役に立たない。覚えられない。理解できない。大企業にもお役所にも勤めないなら、あんな受験なんかするんじゃなかった。あんなことですり減らすんじゃなかった。計算なんか早くたって無駄じゃないか。計算機があるんだから。僕の頭だって、昔はよく切れた。何も怖くなかった。年を取れば取るほど有能になるんだと信じていた。自分は特別な人間だと思いこんでいた。僕は老いを知らなかった。（老いについて。年下の友人のメールから。）”

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